January 2012
89 posts
“GUESS WHAT I HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES THAT I CAN MATCH YOUR OUTFIT ALMOST EVERY...”
– my best friend in the world… yikes.
December 2011
141 posts
my mom’s new thing is thinking that i’m on drugs, not sure why. so just so she’d feel kinda vindicated i came home at 7 in the morning the other night talking really fast with no real explanation. my way of showing her that i care.
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ughhh i think people my age are downstairs with my mom because my mom hoards interns… how do i pretend that i a.) did not just wake up and am therefore b.) superior to them???
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guys i think we need to talk about the decline of snacks at parties
what happened to them
where’d they go
Anonymous asked: And if you upload pictures of your butt to tumblr, you can see your butt anywhere you have an internet connection!
wow i just realized that instead of staring at my butt in the mirror like a normally do, i can take pictures of my butt and just stare at those
game changer
considering making a hair tutorial video
“ok so you have hair. good. then you just kind of put it up there. on your head. great. that’s it make sure to subscribe!”
3 tags
all i want in life is to be an emanuel brother
is that too much to ask
http://www.isbabyoncebornyet.com/ →
lets be honest here
199o:
hilary duff is my bitch
cop pranks
so two of my best friends are fucking idiots and got arrested back when the RNC was in st paul (~~memories~~). anyway, they were held on a school bus with all the other arrested protesters for like four hours.
so finally a cop gets on the bus and is like, “ok, that’s it, you can all leave.”
and someone says “really??”
and the cop is like “haha fuck no...
hm sometimes i wish people’s failures were a little more public. there are a lot of people who i would really like to know when they’re fucking shit up. facebook should work on that one.
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new year’s resolution: continue to know all the words to every top 40 song, but with less shame
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ok who are you people
plz tell me i am curious/scared that’s all
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i’m considering trying to get put on house arrest so i have a justification for my lifestyle
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the only two thoughts i have while driving:
oh my god i am going to die
oh my god i am vin diesel
fond christmas memories:
when there was an awkward pause after opening all the presents with my very catholic extended family and my sister was like “…thank you baby jesus!!”
and then there was REALLY an awkward pause
1 tag
a lesson in texting etiquette
for people you are:
currently sleeping with
have slept with in the past
would like to sleep with in the future
only kind of friend with (you liar they’re probably in the other three categories but whatever)
if you text them and they do not text you back, you have ONE SHOT
in 45 min to 1 hour you can text them something that makes the situation seem urgent-ish (but not too urgent) like...
2 tags
hm so i told this guy that i always check for serial killers hiding in the backseat before i get in the car to drive and he was like “that is a crazy person thing to do” but actually it is SAFETY so fuck you
~~internet secret~~
every anonymous message you get is from two weird guys you went to high school with
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every time i successfully do a girl thing i feel like i’m leveling up on a video game
non-horrifying outfit: level up
successful makeup: level up
matching underwear: level up
and some day i will win the game of girl!!!
sometimes people are like “self-reflection rocks” but when i reflect on myself i remember that i’m the kind of person who both watches four seasons of gossip girl and reads seven-page articles about gossip girl
so that’s enough reflection for the year i think.
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my sister asked a crazy dude on the bus what his best advice is, and he said “that’s easy. don’t let the wrong thing bother you.”
how do you tell someone they are great and you love them but jesus fucking christ you need to not see them for like a week at LEAST
what is the dr phil script for that
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family got dim sum and went to see sherlock holmes for xmas eve
we want to be jewish so bad
i no longer have the attention span to watch a full music video
tumblr what have u done to me
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dad got a plastic bow and arrow set for dollar store xmas and is shooting at everyone
house is a warzone aka live blogging christmas
Anonymous asked: What do you think about the name Anna? I know not all Annas are anything alike but I have a weird thing about studying the stereotypical traits of certain names and you seem too badass to be an Anna.
poptartslutzz:
i can never tell if i’m paranoid or if most people actually dislike me so i think i will just hang out with myself and this lunchable forever
HI HELLO WE ARE FRIENDS I THINK
also your lunchable was finished? which means you are hanging out with a lunchable container which is way worse
new favorite response to dudes hollering out their car is to not turn at all and just yell “REALLY?” kind of into the air
fighting the patriarchy through… apathy.
2 tags
hey is there some kind of internet guide for american horror story that is only the hot boy parts? not tryna be scared. tryna watch that cute blonde boy move around help me out internet
it really concerns me the number of you who are blogging from the bathroom
stop that
there is WATER there probably like a lot of it
and you’re just putting your computer in there willy nilly?? will no one think of the electronics JESUS
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oh my god that zooey deschanel quote is horrific. in an ideal world no one would talk before 10am but NO ONE WOULD FUCKING TOUCH ME EITHER
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exboy: i want to know if you're still as pretty as i remember.
me: yes i am.
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at some point i’m just going to have to accept that my mother is the kind of person who asks the goodwill cashier what his teardrop tattoo means.
5 tags
crumbs in my onesie: the story of me
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IT IS MY BIRTHDAY
THEREFORE I AM EXCLUSIVELY LISTENING TO SONGS WITH SWAG IN THE TITLE
AND TYPING EXCLUSIVELY IN ALL CAPS
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dear r kelly:
if you are at a party with fellas to your left and honeys to your right
you are at a middle school dance
3 tags
well we’ve reached the point in the afternoon where i’m watching avril lavigne music videos
not even good ones. i’m watching wish you were here which is a ballad whatever fuck you feelings.
nonicegirlz-deactivated20120206 asked: yes anna this needs to happen immediately i tried to discuss my addiction slash hatred for xojane with mason yesterday for like an hour and it didn't work out and i am desperate to discuss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so serious about this. can't wait.
