March 2012
143 posts
look i’m all for teen weddings
but if your bridesmaids are wearing platform flip-flops
maybe you might want to reconsider
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in other news, someone left a short story about incest lying next to the computers in the campus center
title is “fruit isn’t always sweet” and it reads like something off literotica it’s terrific
wonderbecky replied to your post: another explanation of my life is when i was in…
what was it?!
you know those little buttons on stoplights that you can push when you’re waiting to cross the street? i figured out what they did.
which, in my teacher’s defense, absolutely was not science.
another explanation of my life is
when i was in sixth grade my teacher told me that my science fair project wasn’t science and i got in this huge argument with her because like who killed stephen hawking and made her the god of science, you know???
but then this middle-aged man stranger wandering around the science fair said my project was “the most hilarious” and that pretty...
when i was in junior high my mom and sister went to south america for three months and it was just me and my dad. so one day we made replicas of my mom and sister out of balloons and their clothing and drew faces on them with sharpie. then we emailed my mom some photos and told her she didn’t need to come back.
this is why i am the way that i am.
February 2012
122 posts
smellyclarkson asked: I am really nervous about this and plus I am only 17 and you are nineteen and that makes you 100X cooler than me by default.
Anonymous asked: I have an internet girl crush on you and I feel weird about it.
Anonymous asked: but no one can see you if you are on the radio and the less clothing you wear the more spiritually free you can be I think
Anonymous asked: I'm so excited I can't even live properly right now
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Anonymous asked: what time and also what day.
ok i’d say my best memory from this summer was listening to a hysterical voicemail from my best friend because a squirrel had stared at her in our kitchen, sprinted into her room, sat on her bed, ran into her closet, and then peed on her clothes
pooping outside in the pouring rain is close runner up though
Anonymous asked: what is your radio station channel.
worldofhair:
my friend’s radio show was actually playing kanye west, britney spears and shaggy all at once.
i’ve never been more proud
oh also tune in in exactly one half hour for a radio show that will definitely change your life possibly for the better more likely for the worse
tonight’s theme is middle school dance
i’ve been too lazy to make a playlist so replies with suggestions would be much appreciated. i will give a shoutout to the internet if we play it.
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emails from my sister
“Will you look up whether or not someone has written an academic work that could be classified as a swag timeline?”
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hey if you’re ever looking for a way to freak someone out
dig up their dead friend from the grave after the person is almost done mourning them and carve “let not your sorrows die, though i am dead” into the dead person’s flesh in roman letters and then prop the corpse outside their friend’s door
this helpful suggestion brought to you by shakespeare
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how do i stop sarcastically narrating my entire life to myself
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worldofhair replied to your post: any time i write poetry 90% of myself is like…
what are you like an art kid now
says aj, while putting the finishing touches on homework for music college
do art kids watch the music video for “call me maybe” by someone named carly rae jepsen twice in one day????
yeah that’s what i thought
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any time i write poetry 90% of myself is like HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH REALLY????
Anonymous asked: how old are you.
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y’all i just want a relationship where i don’t have to pretend to take the stupid shit 19-year-old boys say seriously
like you can take ultimate frisbee and being a sailor seriously
but i’m going to be over here laughing about it
and that will be the basis of our glorious relationship
i would like to isolate the point that my life became inevitably headed in a direction leading to look at gifs of robert pattinson’s commentary on twilight and just drench in gasoline and burn that moment
or maybe pet it like a small dying animal
idk one of the two
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mourning the lost opportunity of the small period of 7th grade when it would have been appropriate/expected to dress like avril lavigne circa 2003
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true stories of sex education
one time in health class in 10th grade my teacher had us make a pro-con list on the board for sex
the cons were:
stds
pregnancy
death
there were no pros
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the best time i’ve ever had on the bus was listening to two drug dealers try to sell drugs to each other
i remain sort of surprised that the universe didn’t just collapse in on itself during that conversation
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ok here’s a problem
i have always assumed that eventually i will get all my shit together and stop making choices that end with me screaming WHAT IS THIS JOKE THAT HAS BECOME MY LIFE in the car alone while listening to pitbull
however
recent experiences with my 25-year-old sister in which she she forgot to get rid of the piece of wood left over from her breaking a bed, and thus ended up...
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my dad tells this story where he was a kid and all of his kid friends were jumping off the basement stairs to see who could jump furthest
and his little brother ken jumped off, but his head hit the overhang on the ceiling
and the dog was so excited that it hyperventilated and puked everywhere
and one of my dad’s friends said OH MY GOD KENNY YOUR BRAINS ARE FALLING OUT
this is a story of...
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corona—graminea replied to your post: if you don’t have a soft spot for kelly clarkson u…
She’s a Ron Paul supporter though
that’s perfect
she’ll be my token republican imaginary friend and we’ll “agree to disagree” and i’ll roll my eyes when she talks about lowering taxes and we’ll eat white cheddar cheez-its together and she’ll talk...
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if you don’t have a soft spot for kelly clarkson u r not human
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always a good party when someone leaves without shoes and best friend gets a text that just says “thought we”
so full of possibility
“thought we”
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i would like to use this space to issue a formal apology to anyone who has ever had to ride in a car i was driving
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hi how do i unsick myself?
and does it involve getting drunk?
also i’m wearing kind of a sassy janitor outfit today and i don’t know why
like i will make your bed and tell you you should kick that boy to the curb
ok so tell me how to stop getting sick and then someday i’ll do that for you
good trade
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wizardwaffles replied to your post: the roommate just told me that she’s been taking…
wtf can’t she just eat some fruit i mean vitamin c = cold protector
haha no that would be LOGICAL and the roommate is a logic vortex with bangs
littlelebowski asked: i keep thinking your url is beyonce and its tripping me the fuck out
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the roommate just told me that she’s been taking dayquil every day this semester so she wouldn’t get sick?????
concerned
concerned for her
concerned for the history of the human race
etc
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where do i find a kinda dumb jock boy to boss around
britania asked: i started to use my tumblr again so i defend my honor against cyber bullying. #startingasupportgroup #roommateswhoseroommatescyberbully #rwrcb
gwynbr asked: your posts always make me smile. :..)
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once i told my roommate that you just have to assume that there is someone out there who hates you and she was SHOCKED
it was so nice i want to live in her world
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interviewed for a job today where the women interviewing me ACTUALLY USED the phrase “the feminist lens of intersectionality”
listening to fiona apple
while reading a book called ‘the trouble with normal: sex, politics, and the ethics of queer life’
self-identifying as a lady asshole
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NETFLIX ON YO COUCH
WHAT THIS POPCORN ABOUT
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worldofhair replied to your post: gotta respect my sister for taking the no shame…
I can probably fix beds.
u rock. no talking to my sister about noise bands though.
there’s this woman who lives across the street from my parents’ house who is morbidly obese and sells tombstones for a living and only leaves through the back door
i’ve never actually seen her
but she is my hero
liveblogging bad decision making 2012